Love is one of the most commonly used words in our culture, yet one of the least defined. We use it to describe feelings, preferences, relationships, and identities. Love becomes something we claim, something we protect, or something we demand. Rarely do we pause to consider what Scripture means when it speaks of love. Women leaders in the church have a unique opportunity and responsibility at this moment. We are not just responding to cultural confusion about love; we are actively guiding women toward a better and truer understanding.
Culture often teaches that love is affirmation without formation. To love someone is to approve of their choices, avoid discomfort, and center the self. Love becomes transactional. I give you affirmation, and you give me acceptance. In this framework, love is fragile. It breaks when expectations are unmet or when truth feels costly.
The biblical story presents a radically different view. Scripture shows love as based on the character of God. Love is not mainly a feeling but a stance of faithfulness. God’s love reaches out to us with both truth and grace. It recognizes what is broken, calls for repentance, and heals what sin has damaged. Love is not in conflict with truth; it is shaped by it.
As women who lead, we must disciple with this fuller vision in mind. That discipleship begins by helping women see that love is not limited to romance or marriage. While Scripture holds marriage in high regard as a picture of Christ and His church, it does not portray marriage as the most complete or ultimate expression of love. Jesus Himself lived a fully human life marked by deep relationships, sacrificial love, and perfect obedience to the Father, all without being married.
Our churches and ministries must also reflect this view. Discipling women effectively involves highlighting single women, widows, the divorced, and those experiencing longing or loss. It means creating spaces where friendship, hospitality, and spiritual community are just as important as nuclear family life. When we only talk about love in romantic terms, we inadvertently suggest that some lives are incomplete or less valuable. At the same time, we disciple women by affirming marriage with clarity and beauty. Marriage is not just a lifestyle choice or a personal achievement; it is a covenant that mirrors Christ’s faithfulness to His church. It aims to demonstrate sacrificial love, mutual submission, and lasting commitment in a world that often treats relationships as disposable. By guiding women toward this perspective, we help them see that marriage is about faithful witness, not just self-fulfillment.
This broader understanding of love equips women to live faithfully in a transactional world. We disciple against the idea that love is something we trade or leverage. Biblical love gives without demanding a return. It remains steady when feelings waver. It seeks the good of the other even when it costs us. For women leaders, this means modeling love that is patient, rooted, and durable. It means teaching women how to love across differences, generations, and life stages. It means forming communities where people are known, not used, and valued, not categorized.
Love is not a word we throw around casually. It names who God is and who we are becoming. As we disciple women toward a biblical vision of love, we are shaping not only how they relate to others but also how they understand the gospel itself. In a culture that reduces love to affirmation or transaction, the church has the opportunity to display something deeper. A love that is ordered toward God. A love that tells the truth. A love that binds us together as the people of God.
Leadership Self/Team Reflection Questions
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- Where does our ministry unintentionally focus love around marriage, parenting, or specific life stages, and who might feel overlooked as a result?
- How deliberately are we including women at all seasons of life, including single women, widows, and those going through loss or transition?
- What cultural understandings of love appear most influential among the women we serve, and how do those beliefs influence their expectations, struggles, or choices?
- How clearly do we teach that love is rooted in the character of God rather than personal desire or cultural approval?
- How are we demonstrating biblical love in our leadership, especially when it involves telling the truth, showing patience, or offering sacrificial presence?
- Where does our ministry unintentionally focus love around marriage, parenting, or specific life stages, and who might feel overlooked as a result?
Posted on February 6, 2026
Jacki C. King is a respected and beloved Bible teacher, author, and dedicated ministry leader. Her passion involves guiding women toward a deep love for Jesus and His Word, encouraging them to embrace their mission in their homes, workplaces, and communities. She is the author of “The Calling of Eve: How Women of the Bible Inspire the Women of the Church” (Tyndale 2022). A proud native Texan, Jacki serves alongside her husband Josh, who serves as Lead Pastor of their local church, and their three boys. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Biblical Studies and Ministry to Women from Criswell College, and a Master of Arts in Theological Studies from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.
Connect with Jacki on Twitter and Instagram at @JackiCKing
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